The Country
Still Being Made.
The Guide Has Watched.

Reykjavík (the capital — 64°N — the world’s northernmost capital city — 130,000 people in the city, 230,000 in the greater Reykjavík area (approximately 60% of Iceland’s total population in a single metropolitan area — the guide’s Reykjavík concentration briefing: “Iceland is a country where 60% of the population lives in the capital and the remaining 40% live in a landscape that is approximately the size of Tasmania — the guide considers this the most available statistical explanation for why the Ring Road feels empty at the speed limit and full of landscape”) — powered entirely by geothermal and hydroelectric energy (100% renewable electricity — the guide’s energy briefing: “Iceland heats its buildings from geothermal water pumped from underground — Reykjavík’s tap water comes from a hot spring — the guide turns on the hot tap in the hotel bathroom and the specific sulphurous smell is the guide’s most reliably available olfactory indicator that the programme has begun”)) is the guide’s programme starting and ending point — and the city the guide considers the most compact-per-available-culture in the North Atlantic. Hallgrímskirkja (the Lutheran church — the most recognisable building in Iceland — designed by Guðjón Samúelsson — construction 1945–1986 — the guide’s Hallgrímskirkja briefing: “the church is designed to evoke the basalt column formations (columnar basalt — the hexagonal columns produced by lava cooling) that are found throughout Iceland — the guide has walked the group from Hallgrímskirkja to the Reynisfjara basalt columns on the South Coast on every Iceland programme and has found no group that failed to see the architectural reference — the guide considers this the most available geometric rhyme between a capital city building and a geological formation”). The Bæjarins Beztu Pylsur hot dog stand (the guide’s most specific Reykjavík recommendation: “one hot dog — with everything — the remoulade — the crispy onion — the ketchup — the mustard — the raw onion — the guide has been eating this specific hot dog at this specific stand since 2009 — it has been served to Bill Clinton, Metallica, and 23 Cooee Tours groups — the guide considers the company adequate”). The geothermal pools (Laugardalur) (the outdoor swimming pools heated by geothermal water — the guide’s pool programme: “the guide takes every group to the public pool on the first evening — not the Blue Lagoon — the public pool — with the Icelanders — the guide’s public pool position: “the Blue Lagoon is the available tourist experience — the public pool is the available Icelandic experience — the guide programmes the Icelandic experience first and the tourist experience on the group’s own time”)).

• Hallgrímskirkja basalt column design · guide walks group from church to Reynisfjara · geometric rhyme · no group has missed it
• Bæjarins Beztu Pylsur · with everything · guide since 2009 · Clinton + Metallica + 23 Cooee groups · guide considers company adequate
• Public pool not Blue Lagoon · first evening · with Icelanders · guide’s Icelandic experience vs tourist experience distinction
• Harpa Concert Hall (2011 · Henning Larsen + Ólafur Elíasson · the guide’s Harpa light briefing · honeycomb glass facade)
• 100% renewable energy · geothermal hot tap · sulphurous smell · guide’s most reliable programme start indicator

The Golden Circle (the 300km day-trip circuit from Reykjavík that the guide considers the most available single-day geological education in Europe — three sites in one circuit — each one extraordinary on its own terms and collectively presenting the complete available Iceland geological briefing within a vehicle range that most visitors consider reasonable). Þingvellir National Park (UNESCO 2004) (the guide’s Þingvellir briefing — the most carefully constructed single-site lecture in the Iceland programme: “Þingvellir is simultaneously the birthplace of Icelandic democracy (the Alþing — the world’s oldest continuously functioning parliament — established 930 AD — the guide’s oldest parliament briefing: “the Alþing met at Þingvellir for the first time in 930 AD — it has been meeting continuously since — Iceland established its parliament before most of the countries the guide has worked in were established as countries — the guide presents this without a further political comment and has not found a group that did not find the statement sufficient”) and the world’s most visible tectonic rift (the Almannagjá gorge — the guide walks the group into the gorge — “the wall on your left is the North American tectonic plate — the wall on your right is the Eurasian tectonic plate — the guide is standing between them — and the guide is being pulled apart at approximately 2.5cm per year — the guide notes that at this rate the guide will be 2.5cm wider next year and is attempting to find the correct emotional response”)). The Geysir hot spring area (the original Geysir — the source of the English word “geyser” — currently mostly dormant due to earthquake changes to its plumbing — the guide’s Geysir etymology briefing: “the word ‘geyser’ in English, German, Icelandic, Japanese, and all other languages comes from this specific hole in the ground — the guide stands at the specific hole — and notes that the hole is not currently cooperating with its own linguistic legacy” — Strokkur (the active neighbour — erupting every 5–10 minutes to 20–40m — the guide’s Strokkur timing position: “the guide watches for the blue dome of water that forms immediately before the eruption — the guide has identified the blue dome on 38 of 42 Geysir visits — the guide provides the group with this observation before each eruption — the 4 missed domes are presented as evidence of the dome’s existence rather than its absence”). Gullfoss (the guide’s waterfall characterisation: “Gullfoss is the waterfall that makes the visitor reconsider what they meant by the word ‘waterfall’ before they arrived — the guide has used this sentence since 2010 and has found it accurate on every Gullfoss visit”).

• Þingvellir · Alþing 930 AD · world’s oldest parliament · “established before most countries the guide has worked in existed”
• Almannagjá gorge · guide stands between the plates · 2.5cm wider next year · “attempting to find the correct emotional response”
• Geysir · the word geyser derives from this specific dormant hole · “not cooperating with its own linguistic legacy”
• Strokkur blue dome · guide identifies it before eruption · 38 of 42 visits · 4 misses presented as evidence of dome’s existence
• Gullfoss · makes the visitor reconsider what they meant by ‘waterfall’ · guide’s sentence since 2010 · accurate every visit

The South Coast (the 380km stretch of coastline and interior between Reykjavík and the Vatnajökull glacier — the guide’s South Coast assessment: “the South Coast is the Iceland that the visitor imagines before arrival — the waterfalls — the black sand — the basalt columns — the glacier — the icebergs floating into the sea — the guide considers this the most cinematically available stretch of Icelandic landscape and notes that it has appeared in more film and television productions than the guide can accurately count — the guide stopped counting at 14”). Seljalandsfoss (the guide’s Seljalandsfoss position: “the guide walks behind the waterfall — every time — the guide has walked behind Seljalandsfoss on 42 South Coast programmes — the waterfall is cold and the path is wet and the guide does not have a dry jacket by the time the path exits the other side — the guide considers this acceptable for the available view — which is the view from inside a waterfall”). Reynisfjara black sand beach (the guide’s sneaker wave briefing: “the guide stands between the group and the water — the guide has explained the sneaker wave on 42 South Coast programmes — the sneaker wave arrives without warning — it arrives at speed — the guide has seen it on 2 of 42 programmes — the guide gives the briefing on all 42 because the 2 are sufficient argument for the 42”). Jökulsárlón glacier lagoon (the guide’s lagoon briefing: “the guide considers Jökulsárlón the most completely unavoidable available Iceland landscape superlative — the icebergs calved from the Breiðamerkurjökull outlet glacier — floating in the lagoon — some for months — some for years — before drifting through the outlet channel into the North Atlantic — the guide’s Jökulsárlón dawn briefing: the guide arrives before the tour buses at 6am — the lagoon in the specific pre-dawn light — the silence — and the first iceberg reflecting the sunrise — the guide has done this 38 times and has not found the guide’s own briefing at 5:45am less justified on any occasion”). Diamond Beach (the black sand beach immediately east of the lagoon outlet — where the icebergs wash ashore and melt — the guide’s Diamond Beach briefing: “the ice on the black sand — lit by the low-angle morning sun — the specific transparency of old glacier ice against black basalt — the guide considers Diamond Beach the most available example of Iceland presenting itself as a photography set and then producing something that photographs cannot adequately convey”).

• Seljalandsfoss · guide walks behind it every time · 42 visits · wet jacket · guide considers this acceptable for the available view
• Reynisfjara sneaker wave · guide stands between group and water · 2 of 42 seen · sufficient argument for the briefing on all 42
• Jökulsárlón 6am · guide arrives before tour buses · 38 times · not less justified on any occasion
• Diamond Beach · ice on black sand · “presents as a photography set then produces something photographs can’t convey”
• South Coast appeared in 14+ film/TV productions · guide stopped counting at 14

The Snæfellsnes Peninsula (the 90km finger of land that extends westward from the main body of Iceland into the North Atlantic — the guide’s Snæfellsnes introduction: “the Snæfellsnes Peninsula is the most compact available version of Iceland — it has the glacier — the lava fields — the sea cliffs — the fishing villages — the basalt columns — the volcanic crater — and the specific magic that Jules Verne placed at the glacier’s summit in 1864 — all within a 90km drive — the guide considers Snæfellsnes the most efficiently packaged available Icelandic landscape”) is dominated by the Snæfellsjökull glacier and volcano (Snæfellsjökull — 1,446m — a glacier-capped stratovolcano — last erupted approximately 1,900 years ago — the guide’s Verne briefing: “Jules Verne placed the entry to the Earth’s core at the summit crater of Snæfellsjökull in ‘Journey to the Centre of the Earth’ (Voyage au Centre de la Terre, 1864) — the Icelandic character Arne Saknussemm in the novel found the entrance — the guide considers the choice of location the most available demonstration of Verne’s geological instinct — because Snæfellsjökull sits on the Mid-Atlantic Ridge — which is the closest available surface expression of the forces that would indeed operate at the Earth’s interior — Verne’s fiction is geologically coherent — the guide finds this more impressive than the novel itself”). Kirkjufell (the arrow-shaped mountain — 463m — adjacent to the fishing village of Grundarfjörður — the guide’s Kirkjufell briefing: “the guide considers Kirkjufell the most photographed available non-glacial Icelandic landmark — the guide has photographed it on 14 Snæfellsnes programmes — the guide’s photograph from 2017 (the guide’s specific preferred angle from above Kirkjufellfoss at 7am) is the guide’s most available personal evidence for the proposition that Iceland at 7am is consistently better than Iceland at 10am”). Arnarstapi and the sea cliffs (the basalt columns at the sea — the Arctic tern colony — the guide’s Arctic tern briefing: “the Arctic tern migrates from the Arctic to the Antarctic and back — approximately 70,000–90,000km per year — the guide considers the Arctic tern the most specifically committed long-distance traveller available in the Icelandic programme and notes that the guide’s commitment to Iceland at 15 programmes and counting does not approach the Arctic tern’s by either distance or consistency”)).

• Snæfellsjökull · Jules Verne 1864 · guide’s assessment: Verne’s fiction is geologically coherent · more impressive than the novel itself
• Kirkjufell · guide’s 2017 7am photograph · guide’s most available evidence Iceland at 7am is better than Iceland at 10am
• Arctic tern · 70,000–90,000km/year · the guide’s commitment to Iceland does not approach this by distance or consistency
• Arnarstapi basalt columns at sea · the geometric rhyme with Hallgrímskirkja · revisited from Reykjavík Day 1
• Most compact available version of Iceland · glacier + lava + sea cliffs + fishing villages · 90km drive

The Westfjords (Vestfirðir — the peninsula in the far northwest of Iceland — the guide’s Westfjords introduction — delivered to every new group on the Iceland programme: “the Westfjords is the part of Iceland that visitors who have been to Iceland once will not have seen — and the part that the guide considers most deserving of a return visit by visitors who have — which is also the guide’s recommendation for the visitor who has not yet been to Iceland but wants the version that is least likely to have 40 tourists at the same viewpoint — the Westfjords receives approximately 5% of Iceland’s total visitors — the guide has been going there for 15 years — the guide’s Westfjords conviction: it is the most remote available version of Iceland and the one that most consistently delivers the specific quality of being somewhere very few people have been”). Dynjandi waterfall (the guide’s Dynjandi briefing: “Dynjandi (‘the thunderous one’) falls from 100m — in a fan shape that widens from approximately 30m at the top to 60m at the base — the guide has been to Dynjandi on 15 Westfjords programmes — the guide has never had another tourist group at Dynjandi at the same time — the guide considers this the most available single-data evidence for the Westfjords recommendation”). Látrabjarg (the westernmost point of Iceland and of Europe — the sea cliff that drops 440m directly into the North Atlantic — and the location of the largest puffin colony in Iceland (approximately 1 million Atlantic puffins in summer) — the guide’s puffin briefing: “the Atlantic puffin at Látrabjarg has no evolutionary history of land predators — it therefore has no flight response to a person crouching at eye level on the cliff edge — the guide’s Látrabjarg instruction: crouch — be still — wait — the guide has had puffins approach to within 50cm on 8 of 15 Látrabjarg visits — the guide considers 8 of 15 an adequate argument for the crouching”). The Arctic fox (Vulpes lagopus) (the guide’s Arctic fox briefing: “the Arctic fox is the only land mammal native to Iceland — it arrived by walking across the sea ice from Greenland at the end of the last ice age — the guide’s Arctic fox character assessment: “the Arctic fox in the Westfjords summer is the most apparently unbothered available wild animal in Iceland — it approaches the guide’s vehicle — examines it — and continues its day — the guide considers this the most available expression of Icelandic independence in a non-human life form”)).

• 5% of Iceland’s visitors · guide 15 years · most remote available Iceland · never another tourist at Dynjandi simultaneously
• Dynjandi · 100m fan waterfall · never another group · guide’s single-data evidence for the Westfjords recommendation
• Látrabjarg puffin · no flight response · guide’s instruction: crouch · wait · puffins within 50cm on 8 of 15 visits
• Arctic fox · only native Icelandic land mammal · walked from Greenland · most apparently unbothered available wild animal in Iceland
• Westernmost point of Iceland and Europe · 440m cliff · North Atlantic below · guide considers this adequate for the drive

North Iceland (the region around Akureyri — the capital of north Iceland — 19,000 people — the guide’s Akureyri briefing: “Akureyri is the largest Icelandic town outside the Reykjavík area — 19,000 people — the guide considers this the most available Icelandic demonstration of the word ‘second city’ as a relative rather than an absolute concept”) is the region the guide describes as “the geological sequel to the Golden Circle — the Golden Circle is the introduction to Icelandic geology — the north is the advanced programme.” Mývatn (the shallow lake — 37 km² — surrounded by the most concentrated available collection of volcanic landscape features: pseudo-craters (Skútustaðagígar — craters formed not by eruption but by steam explosions when lava flowed over a wetland — the guide’s pseudo-crater briefing: “these are not volcanoes — they are the available consequence of lava meeting water — the steam had nowhere to go — the guide considers the pseudo-crater the most specifically available Icelandic geological feature because the mechanism is the same as the geysers and the hot springs but in reverse: instead of water meeting heat from below, heat met water from above”) — the Hverfjall tuff ring — the Dimmuborgir lava formations). Dettifoss (Europe’s most powerful waterfall by flow rate — 193 m³/second — the guide’s Dettifoss briefing: “Dettifoss drops 44m and is 100m wide and moves 193 cubic metres of water per second — which is more than three times the average flow of the Rhine — the guide has been to Dettifoss on 15 North Iceland programmes — the guide’s most specific Dettifoss observation: the specific spray that reaches the viewing platform — approximately 30m back from the edge — on still days — the guide considers it the most available confirmation that Dettifoss is the correct scale”). Húsavík whale watching (the guide’s preferred whale watching location in Iceland — the guide’s Húsavík vs Reykjavík comparison: “Húsavík is the whale watching capital of Iceland — the whale watching from Húsavík is from a traditional oak boat (not a large vessel) — in Skjálfandi Bay — where humpback and minke whales feed from April to October — the guide has been on 14 Húsavík whale watching trips and has seen a whale on 13 — the one without a whale was in late September and the guide considers late September outside the guide’s recommended window”)).

• Pseudo-craters · lava + wetland = steam explosions · guide’s mechanism briefing · same mechanism as geysers but in reverse
• Dettifoss · Europe’s most powerful waterfall · 193 m³/sec · 3x the Rhine average flow · spray 30m back · correct scale
• Húsavík · guide’s preferred whale watching · traditional oak boat · whale seen 13 of 14 trips · 1 miss in late September
• Námafjall geothermal area · the guide stays on marked paths · found adequate on all 15 Mývatn programmes
• Akureyri · 19,000 people · “largest Icelandic town outside Reykjavík area — ‘second city’ as relative not absolute concept”

The Icelandic Highlands (the interior — the uninhabited volcanic plateau in the centre of the island — accessible only via F-roads (mountain roads — unpaved — requiring 4WD — open only July through September depending on snow conditions — including river crossings — the guide’s F-road briefing: “the guide drives F-roads — the guide walks every river crossing before driving it — 34 crossings walked — 4 declined — 30 driven — the guide considers the 4 declined crossings the most available evidence for the value of walking first — the guide does not describe the 4 crossings in detail because the guide does not want the description to become a standard”)) is the Iceland that the guide describes as “the Iceland with no services, no mobile reception, no other people, and a landscape that the guide considers the most available approximation of what a planetary surface looks like before it has been lived on — which is what Iceland’s interior effectively is — the youngest landscape available at surface level in Europe — still forming — still steaming — the guide drives into it and does not speak for the first 30 minutes because the guide finds the immediate approach to the highlands the most specific available Iceland moment and has not found a way to improve it by speaking.” Landmannalaugar (the guide’s rhyolite mountain briefing: “the rhyolite is a volcanic rock formed from silica-rich lava that cools slowly — the cooling allows the mineral compounds to separate and colour the rock — the specific pinks, yellows, greens, and reds of the Landmannalaugar mountains are each a different mineral composition at a different cooling rate — the guide walks the group into the rhyolite valley and lets the colour explain itself — the guide has found no better available explanation in 15 years”). The Laugavegur Trail (55km — from Landmannalaugar to Þórsmörk — the guide’s trail assessment: “the Laugavegur is the guide’s most recommended multiday hiking trail in Iceland — 4–5 days — crossing 5 distinct landscape types (rhyolite mountains — obsidian fields — geothermal areas — glacial rivers — green valleys) — the guide has walked it 8 times — the guide’s position: the experience of crossing from rhyolite to obsidian in a single day’s walking is the most available demonstration of Icelandic geological variety within a walking distance that the guide considers the correct scale for the landscape”)).

• F-roads · 34 crossings walked first · 4 declined · 30 driven · guide declines to describe the 4 · does not want to create a standard
• Guide does not speak for first 30 minutes into the Highlands · most specific Iceland moment · not improved by speaking
• Rhyolite · each colour is a different mineral at a different cooling rate · guide walks in · lets the colour explain itself
• Laugavegur Trail 55km · 8 completions · rhyolite to obsidian in one day · correct scale for the landscape
• “Most available approximation of a planetary surface before it has been lived on” · youngest landscape in Europe